Broaching the important topic of sex can sometimes be uncomfortable for many couples because let’s admit it, many of us are embarrassed about being sexually rejected or about our bodies.
Not only that, but society has also encouraged feelings of sexual shame, making romantic and intimate sex a scary endeavor to even talk about.
In an online study of 70,000 people in 24 countries, researchers found couples who have a great sex life make sex a priority rather than the last item of a long to-do list. They create space for intimacy and connection. These couples talk about sex and put the relationship first, despite the demands of work and kids. They discover sexual pleasure through a variety of methods, not just intercourse.
Here are three ways you and your partner can make sex more romantic in your relationship.
- Master the art of intimate sex talk
The fact that you and your partner can’t have intimate conversations about sex is not good for your sex life. Having sex talks with your lover helps to deepen your intimacy and emotion connection while also learning your likes and dislikes when it comes to sex.
2. Redefine “sex”
We all have a unique attitude towards sex usually shaped by our individual life experiences. Sex should be about passion rather than achieving a goal like reaching orgasm or mastering a technique. Goal-orientated sex can create sexual dysfunction when the goal isn’t reached as you are more likely to feel like there’s something wrong with you. When you make your sex about passion, then the pressure and shame of not performing to an expectation is gone as you no longer have to feel self-conscious. In other words, simply enjoy the experience as this will make things more pleasurable for both you and your partner. Ironically, not being stressed about having an orgasm makes it easier to have one.
3. Have a mental erotic love map
Building a mental erotic love map guides you on your partner’s sexual likes and dislikes to help you create a great sex life. Don’t be shy to ask specific questions about what they enjoy and don’t, what they want to try out and what makes them feel uncomfortable. Sample questions can be, What felt good about sex last time? What did we do that caused you to feel closer and connected to me? What did we do that made you relax? What did we do that turned you on? What do you need to make sex better for you? What makes sex more like lovemaking for you? What are fantasies or thoughts you have during sex?